Chrysalis

I turned 49 in October 2017.

The age itself didn’t particularly bother me, but it did occur to me that I am not getting younger…that the day will come when I am no longer able to “carpe diem”. So I asked myself what was unclaimed in me? What do I long for? And the answer surprised me. I wanted to express myself via aerial dance. I lost connection to my empowered, sexual identity in the process of child bearing, breast feeding and toddler raising. I am now wanting to reclaim my body and stretch it’s limits. I am strengthening and conditioning. I am losing weight. I begin aerial dance classes on Jan 9. This blog will chronicle my journey to a live aerial performance in celebration of my 50th birthday!

If there is a dream that you have buried, dig it up. Make 2018 a year of transformation! Join me in this exploration of how we define our beauty and our strength. Let’s empower each other!

I will be posting regularly and appreciate any words of encouragement along the way.

Love and light,

Lanta

 

 

  • Stay the Course. I’ve done a lot of thinking over the weekend. I attended a workshop on the Bhagavhad Gita and spent some time in contemplation, checking my intention in regards to burlesque. In truth, burlesque feels like yoga to me. Lyra feels like yoga to me. When I do these things, I am healing parts of myself. I am celebrating my wholeness. I am connecting with my body. It is a beautiful alchemy and my intention was to share it with others. At the workshop, I came across this verse: “For one who has conquered the mind rise above the dualities of cold and heat, joy and sorrow, honor and dishonor. Such yogis remain peaceful and steadfast in their devotion to God.” I ...
  • Tits Up! “I sat with my anger long enough, until she told me her real name was grief.” I am saddened that anyone would dictate to a woman what can be done with her body. I am saddened that a part of me still seeks outside approval. I am realizing that for every step forward is one back. Today, I must acknowledge that my small self is hurt that anyone might think poorly of me. My divine Self knows that what they think is none of my business. From the mouth of Mrs Maisel….”Tits up”. We’ve got a show to get ready for.
  • This is a rant. I am angry. Really angry. Like a fire in my gut kind of angry. Following my burlesque Troupe’s sold out show, we decided to bring our show to our home town of Strafford. 5 out of 7 members either live in the vicinity or have family that do. We recognized that this raised the embarrassment factor because we could potentially be dancing in front of neighbors and our kid’s friend’s parents (eek!), but the fact that we were so self-conscious was exactly what we wanted to address. We are not ashamed of our dancing or of our bodies, so what is the big deal, right? I reached out to book our local Community Club. We wanted full disclosure of what we ...
  • Come and get it! Welp! I am not very good at writing regularly, but I am back! I continue to seek vulnerability, softness and openness in my life. I continue to lean in to areas that create discomfort and attempt to reconcile the truth with action. It is a daily practice. I invite you to join me in it.<3 So what have I been up to? I sat for a boudoir photography session with Nichole Goldworthy, relinquishing all control over the choices and am thrilled with the results! I was so afraid to see the images…afraid that I would hate how I looked, but she captured a calm, self-assured woman (sexy too! teehee) and I realized that that is who I am and it is time to ...
  • hmmmm……. It has been over a month since I last wrote. I had a varicose vein removed at the end of January. It was a little more extensive than I had thought it would be. It rendered me inactive as I healed and following my ablation and the holidays, I find my weight up. The old thought patterns came up, but I was able to set them aside…mostly. I hunkered down and started to manage this through upping my cardio and restricting my calories. Blah blah blah. This topic bores me, but I think it is important to share that like yoga, it is a constant practice. Old stories fight to return and imbed in your consciousness. You must be vigilant. You ...
  • Hear My Call. Yesterday, as I was speaking with a close friend, I spoke aloud a truth that I had discovered on retreat last September and she told me I should blog about it. My first thought was “I think I already did” and then, I thought “Do it again! We all need to hear this and know this truth!’ So, here it goes…. I am not broken. I am not in need of fixing. I have had experiences. I have been wounded. I have belief systems, both self taught and inflicted upon me, BUT these wounds and experiences and belief systems do not make me less…less worthy, less valuable than another, less deserving. I am not less than myself. I am. I am ...
  • Exalted and beloved. 2019 is coming in to me like an ecstatic tidal wave! I attended a New Year’s Workshop “Soul Destiny” with Ruth at Peace Tree Yoga where I got really clear about where I was heading and why. I hosted my first Ladies’ Nite burlesque class and it was sold out! I flew out to LA and spent two days immersed in devotional meditation and breath work with some jaw dropping inspiring women, creating a communion of sacred feminine and masculine within myself. I knelt at the altar of my own divinity and found myself beloved. I returned home exalted and ready to share. This week continues to support my heart’s longing. I kicked off my first Aerial Conditioning class with 7 students ...
  • Sharing I began this journey to reclaim myself. To become more comfortable in my skin. To see what I was capable of. It was certainly challenging. I had to get real with myself. I had to dig deep. I had to see myself and allow myself to be seen. I had to stop when I was injured. I had to hold space for myself that was more about acceptance and compassion than it was ever about accomplishment. And at the end of the day, it was so much fun! I love dancing and flying on the hoop. I love yoga and the constant unfolding of life’s mysteries when you follow the path. And most of all, I love sharing what I ...
  • What next? Nothing like having a procedure the Tuesday before Thanksgiving and then, waking up on Wednesday to full blown vertigo. Seriously. I took a few minutes to feel sorry for myself. Well, maybe a few hours…no judging. I called the Dr and got a prescription of meclizine to slow the spin and made an appointment to figure out why this has been recurring so frequently.  I  allowed my husband and sons to step up to prepare the house and food for Thanksgiving and I plotted. I mean, what else can you do when laying in bed is your only comfortable, non nausea-inducing option? So….what was I plotting? Let me tell you! I was plotting the future of DANGER TITS! Burlesque and what I want ...
  • Shift. It has been a week since I turned 50! A busy week. Usually after a lot of output (leading a retreat/a performance/an event), I set aside a day or two to unwind, process and refuel. Last week did not offer that to me and so, I plodded on arriving at Friday night curled up sound asleep on the couch at 6:30 pm. I vowed to make this week a little more restful although I knew Ron would be away on a business trip. That said, I booked a massage with my friend Siuzanne Jenkins of Kriya Yoga. My Yoga by Donation students had given me a gift certificate for my birthday and I was ready for it! The massage, as always, ...