Well, hey there. Thanks for sticking with me!
I awoke, excited to get back on the silks today. My plan being to practice every other day. Comically, my abs had other ideas. I went to practice a conditioning exercise called “The Egg” (https://youtu.be/KKToTJAw13I) and when I went to lift my knees, it felt like someone slapped me in the solar plexus. I could not lift my knees. My abs had nothing to give. LOL So, today turned into another day of rest. I can not believe how sore my core is from my sternum to my pubis. Equally sore are the muscles of my upper back and the tops of my thighs. So interesting! Who knew this was such a comprehensive exercise. I am intrigued and will try again tomorrow.
If you are curious, the conditioning looks like this:
Slanted pullups on silks
Butt to Bar (Trapeze)
Banana Rolls (boat to superman)
Opposite side silk climbs
Straddle ups/tuck ups on floor
Arm Raises (back pressed against wall)
Just those….teehee….hopefully, tomorrow will be prettier.
I was able to reach my weight goal today. I have lost 20 pounds since Aug 17. I am feeling a little too thin in that I do not have the muscle mass I want, but I meet with the trainer on Monday and will sort that out. My daily calorie intake also was increased today to a maintenance level of a little over 1500 a day. It varies based on exercise, so I am not sure of the exact number. Yesterday, must have been my catharsis day because I feel more a sense of resolve to be strong and fit and less aversion to food. This is good. I am heading down the right path.
So, lastly, I am realizing that as I tackle this “soul work” that I am reclaiming this girl who was frightened of her developing body, who stepped into the power of it, only to be wounded and abused at the hands of men who did not deserve her. Did not deserve me. But this is not about blame. This is about loving every inch of myself. I thought if I accepted my experiences and claimed my role in them (too much to drink, being too flirtatious, too skimpy an outfit, allowing myself to be bought dinner) that I was healed and could move on. I am discovering that this is not the case. So, this journey on the silks becomes an evolution of stepping into my femininity without fear. It becomes an ownership of the fact that I am made up of all of these experiences. I am whole. I am here. I am strong. I am enough and today, I can only whisper so listen carefully….i love myself.