Chrysalis

I turned 49 in October 2017.

The age itself didn’t particularly bother me, but it did occur to me that I am not getting younger…that the day will come when I am no longer able to “carpe diem”. So I asked myself what was unclaimed in me? What do I long for? And the answer surprised me. I wanted to express myself via aerial dance. I lost connection to my empowered, sexual identity in the process of child bearing, breast feeding and toddler raising. I am now wanting to reclaim my body and stretch it’s limits. I am strengthening and conditioning. I am losing weight. I begin aerial dance classes on Jan 9. This blog will chronicle my journey to a live aerial performance in celebration of my 50th birthday!

If there is a dream that you have buried, dig it up. Make 2018 a year of transformation! Join me in this exploration of how we define our beauty and our strength. Let’s empower each other!

I will be posting regularly and appreciate any words of encouragement along the way.

Love and light,

Lanta

 

 

  • Day 4 Today feels like a better day. I began with a new Yoga Therapy client which fills me with joy and gratitude. I am so blessed to be able to do this meaningful work! I also fueled with a little more protein and as a result, I don’t feel as flighty. Mental note to remember this. I did my 30 second hang with 8 pull ups- twice! Becuz….hell yeah!  I did a wall stand for 1 minute. I did the aerial conditioning set that I had linked previously (ouch…what are those little muscles on the top of my thighs that charley horse anyway??) and then, I just stretched and played on the mat. It’s so interesting to take the time to play with ...
  • Day 3 It has been a strange day. I got on the scale and I am a half pound from my goal weight. Why is it coming off so quickly? I am simultaneously thrilled and a little afraid. I think I am anxious about this new undertaking and that is why I am losing so quickly. It is leaving me feeling airy and untethered, however. This airy feeling reminds me of being in high school when I stopped eating in reaction to my growing breasts. I was frightened and aroused in equal measure and felt out of control. I claimed my control in every calorie I declined. Thankfully, homelessness cured my budding anorexia, but the allure of empty, of being consumed with agni ...
  • Day 2 This was me… 6 years ago. I took an aerial yoga workshop. I was so excited! I have always wanted to do this!! I was greeted by a gorgeous, very thin twenty something who was too absorbed by her iPad to greet me or make me feel welcome. I was easily 15 pound heavier and 15 years older than every student in the room. It was horrifying to me and my body felt that warm rush of shame. I stayed through the workshop, my palms sweating and my limbs feeling barely able to hold my weight, but I never went back. I regret that I allowed my own shame, and need to compare and to judge myself limit me. I am ...
  • Day One Wow! It is hard to be this personal. Already, I feel vulnerable and wanting to pull the plug on this. I have so much fear…what if I can’t do this? What if I am not strong enough? I have so much body shame. I don’t look like a supermodel. I have breastfed 3 children. I have a c-section scar. I have varicose veins. Tears run down my face as I write this. Strength comes from facing your fears, so I share with you unflinchingly. Let’s begin. I have lost 15.5 pounds since the end of August. I have done it with the support of the Noom app. I log every calorie I eat and exercise I do. I have 4.5 pounds more ...