It came. It went. This much anticipated event. I worked so hard and trained for so long and my knee swelled the Wednesday before and I was still in a knee brace having trouble bearing weight on it the day of my performance. Interesting. I would think that this would greatly upset or disappoint me, but it didn’t. My long time friends were in town and I was committed to enjoying their company and frankly, enjoying myself.
The party began and I was able to greet most of my guests before having to go change for the performance. It was amazing to look across Sue’s Space, transformed into a Speakeasy and be transported by the dapper men and magnificent sequined, fringed and feathered ladies. What a gift to see everyone decked out and having such a great time! That made my night!
The performance was surprisingly fun! There were missteps. There were even “where the hell am I supposed to be” moments when I was getting ahead of myself and the most liberating thing is that people didn’t seem to notice or if they did, they didn’t seem to care! They hooted and hollered and applauded with abandon. After it was over, I found that that was my big takeaway. I didn’t have to be perfect. All those nights waking to my heart pounding in my chest, afraid I would make a mistake and I DID! lol and the sky didn’t come crashing down and the show wasn’t ruined and I am liberated. I will no longer allow fear of imperfection to limit me. Perhaps, the real beauty is in the imperfection. In the moments that allow you to be seen, vulnerable and human. Perhaps, that is where we recognize ourselves in others and others recognize themselves in you.
So, I am 50! I have been asked to do an aerial performance for a friends Halloween party. I am participating in Red, Hot & Ladylike’s 10th Anniversary show and have my lyra teacher training In NYC in November. Life goes on and I am excited to see what this next year has in store for me!!
I think I will keep posting here if you will keep reading.
Thank you for spending this year with me.