I could suck…..

It is happening!! I set a goal of performing for my 50th birthday and it is starting to materialize. The Save the Date cards have been sent! The venue booked. I have a choreographer for the 6 numbers that will be performed. My troupe is gathered and we begin dancing together on June 30th. I am starting to contemplate costumes and cocktails and  appetizers. Oh my! Did I already say….. This is happening!!!!

I am noticing that I am starting to feel a little anxious. What if it doesn’t come together? What if I can’t transform the space? What if I can’t remember the dances? What if no one comes? What if I suck? These thoughts wind their way through my mind, usually when I am driving or doing chores….when I am not fully present to my Self.

And this is when  I am grateful for my Yoga Practice. It draws me back to the NOW. It allows me to be present to all of the hard work I have been doing (did I mention I am now taking 3 aerial classes a week?),to the challenges and the accomplishments, to the sore muscles and the bruises, to the sheer joy of spinning on the lyra, or nailing a cross back straddle on those damn silks, to the sacrifice of my husband as he supports my time away from home, to the personal growth, to all of it. I breathe it in. That is a lot. To be grateful for. To be proud of.

Maybe the actual party isn’t as important as this time is. I readjust my focus. The party is just me sharing myself with the people who love me most. I could suck and that wouldn’t change. This is a very good thing to remember.

And now I am off to finish getting my boys ready for school, then my aerial class……

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Lanta

 

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