Sometimes, I get on here and write until something meaningful emerges…I hope. Today, I have something I am reflecting on and I am finding the words hard to come by. I went to my aerial class last night and we worked on the silks for a while. I am still working on the cross back straddle and opposite side climbs, but seeing progress.
What was so interesting though is the time spent on the trapeze. We did a pretty. but simple pose standing and then worked on a half mill. This took me back to 5th grade when I would hook my knee over the bars on my school’s playground and spin and spin until the back of my knees bled, then I would put on long pants and keep going. I loved the feeling of spinning! Exhilarating! And although I am afraid of heights, I am not afraid of my face plummeting toward the ground before I come up again.
So, the reason that this has captured my attention is that this was my last solid memory of untainted happiness…before the divorce…before the move…before my brother was torn from my sister’s and my life…..before. Why on this full moon night was this experience offered to me? Is it a step toward healing? Merely a memory? A coincidence? I don’t know that I believe in coincidence so I will continue to allow my thoughts to meander through my memories, observing what it finds. It was an interesting feeling to be transported back to age 11 or maybe the end of 10 because I was 11 less than a month when my world was irrevocably altered.